


Zoo bait

by Bunidesu



Series: Sportsfest '18 fills [13]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: I would apologize but I'm not sorry, M/M, chatfic, god save ennoshita, this is complete crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-16
Updated: 2018-10-16
Packaged: 2019-08-02 22:15:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 472
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16313657
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bunidesu/pseuds/Bunidesu
Summary: Prompt:IF THE ZOO BANS ME FOR HOLLERING AT THE ANIMALS I WILL FACE GOD AND WALK BACKWARDS INTO HELL - @drilTanaka gets banned from the zoo.





	Zoo bait

**Author's Note:**

> Ship/Character: Tanaka Ryuunosuke/Ennoshita Chikara or Tanaka Ryuunosuke/Amanai Kanoka  
> Fandom: Haikyuu!!  
> Major Tags: None  
> Additional Tags: None  
> Do Not Wants: None
> 
> Prompt: 
> 
> IF THE ZOO BANS ME FOR HOLLERING AT THE ANIMALS I WILL FACE GOD AND WALK BACKWARDS INTO HELL - @dril

**TaNAHka:** I SAID I WAS SORRY  
  
**EhNOSHITa:** Sorry does not get us unbanned from the zoo.  
  
**TaNAHka** : LOOK IT WASN’T MY FAULT I KEEP TELLING YA.  
  
**EhNOSHITa** : How do you figure it wasn’t your fault?  
  
**TaNAHka** : THE ANIMALS STARTED IT  
  
**EhNOSHITa** : Uh huh  
  
**TaNAHka** : THEY DID  
  
**EhNOSHITa** : Tanaka you yelled at and tried to fight a peacock.  
  
**TaNAHka** : IT WAS LOOKING AT YOU FUNNY  
  
**EhNOSHITa** : It is a bird.  
  
**TaNAHka** : YEA AND?  
  
**EhNOSHITa** : Peacocks always have their feathers out like that for a variety of reasons. To attract a mate, to challenge another male and just to preen.  
  
**TaNAHka** : SEE YOU JUST SAID IT.  
  
**EhNOSHITa** : Said what?  
  
**TaNAHka** : ATTRACTING MATE AND CHALLENGING  
  
**EhNOSHITa** : ….. attracting another bird Tanaka, not me.  
  
**TaNAHka** : THAT BIRD WAS LOOKING AT YOU AND FILLING ITS FEATHERS. IT WAS CHECKING YOU OUT AND I HAD TO MAINTAIN YOUR DIGNITY.   
  
**EhNOSHITa** : Tanaka you yelled at and wrestled the /peacock/.  
  
**TaNAHka** : I HAD TO SHOW IT WHO WAS BOSS.  
  
**EhNOSHITa** : You stole a feather.  
  
**TaNAHka** : THREE FEATHERS.  
  
**EhNOSHITa** : You stole three feathers from the peacock.  
  
**TaNAHka** : I NEEDED TO TAKE A TROPHY.  
  
**EhNOSHITa** : And yet they let you off with a warning and let you walk around the zoo.  
  
**TaNAHka** : AND I WAS WELL BEHAVED UNTIL THE MONKEY STARTED TALKING SHIT.  
  
**EhNOSHITa** : A monkey can’t even /talk/  
  
**TaNAHka** : YOU SAW THE FACES IT MADE AT ME. AND THEN THE BABOON LOOKED LIKE HE WAS READY TO GO.  
  
**EhNOSHITa** : They are baboons that's just what they look like  
  
**TaNAHka** : BUT THEN THE GORILLA FLIPPED ME OFF  
  
**EhNOSHITa** : He was just making hands signs with no meanings they don’t communicate like we do.  
  
**TaNAHka** : HE COMMUNICATED WITH ME  
  
**EhNOSHITa** : You held up a banana you got from the cafeteria and then taunted him by yelling "Ba-nyah-nyan!" and eating it  
  
**TaNAHka** : STILL COMMUNICATING  
  
**EhNOSHITa** : But none of this was the tipping point to the surprise of me and all other patrons of this zoo. It was when you decided to stand in front of the head hog enclosure and yelled to the top of your lungs. “Does knuckles work here?” As if that meme isn't years old.  
  
**TaNAHka** : VALID QUESTION  
  
**EhNOSHITa** : And then you ran over to the tiger exhibit and started yelling, “Fuck you Taketora and the orange cats just like you!”  
  
**TaNAHka** : YEP  
  
**EhNOSHITa** : There were children present.  
  
**TaNAHka** : THEY KNOW WHAT FUCK MEANS. WELL, THEY KNOW ITS A SWEAR WORD PARENTS USE IT ALL THE TIME. I COULDVE SAID SOMETHING REALLY BAD THEN ID DESERVED TO BE KICKED OUT.  
  
EhNOSHITa: Not just kicked out. I was kicked out of the zoo. You, on the other hand, are permanently on the ban list from now on.  
  
**TaNAHka** : NO THEY'RE ON /MY/ BAN LIST. THERE ARE PLENTY OTHER ZOOS HERE. HEY CHIKARA LETS GO TO ONE IN TOKYO NEXT.  
  
**EhNOSHITa** : No. Just no.


End file.
